Marriage Joke

Wife: What are you doing?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure! What are my choices?
Wife : Yes or no.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?

Stress Reliever Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Son: Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

A newly married man asked his wife, Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?
Honey, the woman replied sweetly, I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.